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Nunnubrandarar :)

Hér er hægt að ræða og skiptast skemmtilegum og óvenjulegum sögum, uppákomum, bröndurum og fl. í þeim dúr • Here we can discuss all kind of funny and stranges things ...

Nunnubrandarar :)

Postby admin » Sun Apr 01, 2007 11:14

Nun at the airport

A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune and thought to herself, "I’ll give it a try and see what it tells me." She went over to the machine, stepped up on the scale and put her nickel in and out came a card that read, "you are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, and you are going to Chicago "

The nun sat back down. she told herself that the machine probably givesthe same card to everyone. The more she thought about it the more curious she got so she decided to try it again. she went back to the machine and again put her nickel in, and out came a card that read, "you are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago and you are going to play a fiddle."

The nun says to herself, "I know that is wrong, I have never played a musical instrument even once in my life." she sat back down.

From out of nowhere a cowboy came over and sat down, putting his fiddle case on the seat between them. without thinking, she opened the cowboy'scase, took out the fiddle, and started playing beautiful music.

Surprised at what she had done, she looked over at the machine, thinking, "this is incredible, I’ve got to try this again."

Back to the machine she went, put in another nickel, and another card came out. it read, "you are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs , you are going to Chicago and you are going to break wind."

Now she knows the machine is wrong as she thought to herself, "I’ve never broken wind in public a single time in my life." but getting down off the machine she slipped, and as she was straining to keep herself from falling to the floor, she broke wind.

Absolutely stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. she said to herself, "this is truly remarkable. I’ve got to try this again."

She went back to the machine, put in another nickel, and another card came out. it read,

"You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, and you have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago."

===========================================

Kissing Nun

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring.

He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic!"

"OK" the Nun says, "Pull into the next alley." The Nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child", said the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Jeff and I'm going to a Halloween party.

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Kjartan :D
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